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Between the Desire and the Spasm
 
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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in diemorphism's LiveJournal:

Thursday, December 15th, 2005
12:51 am
So, I work at Things Remembered. That's right folks, the engraving store. It's sooo much better than the Goody.

I am finishing up all the financial stuff for my new school. I can't wait to start in January. I have to start apartment hunting in Chicago soon.I am thinking of moving around boystown (my roomate is G-A-Y)

Adrian- Loved the voicemail! It really cheered me up! I will call you soon!
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
8:14 pm
I did it. I quit my job. Now I have a new job that sucks much less. yay!
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
2:31 pm
It's official. My disdain has turned to full-fledged hate
I drank at work the other day. I committed the cardinal sin of sins. The hate for my menial, overbearing, unfair, bullshit malljob got the better of me. I was forced to work two double shifts in a row on the two busiest days of the year. Black friday and Saturday.I didn't leave work until 11 Saturday night. Then my boss has me scheduled for work at 10 a.m. the next morning. This wouldnt' be a big deal if I didn't have to drive an hour+ to work. So I come in feeling like shit since I went to a club for even two hours, my boss is being a complete BITCH to me (expecting me to do all her work, critisizing everything I do, making me deal with the crazy people) and I make the call. I pour a very generous amount of vodka into my Mountian Dew Livewire. The rest of the day went splendidly and nothing bothered me. I think the want to switch jobs has turned into NEED.

ON a lighter note, I start school on January 9th in Chicago. It's all set. I will be moving to Chicago in Feb!
Saturday, November 26th, 2005
10:45 am
Oh God I hate my job. I get the word back from Claire's today. I am on pins and needles waiting for my boss to say one wrong thing to me so I can freak out and me like " I QUIT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR BITCHINESS AND FAVORITISM AND STUPID ACCENT!" (She's from New Zealand.)I liked my job much more before I transferred to Joliet. I hate my boss. She's fucking bitchy and lies behind my back about me and is not understanding at all and is so fucking rude to customers and I can no longer remain sane working 10 to 11 hour shifts. I can't handle getting home at 1 a.m. and getting a call at 2 a.m. asking if I'd be willing to come in at 7 a.m. and work a doubleshift. FUCK THAT! :::rant ended:::

I miss Val. I needs my Val fix.

With my life right now all I have to look forward to is work, then tests, then work. I can't wait until this semester is over so I can finally go to a school I like and get an apartment and see my mans more.

And I guess I should start writing that research paper that's due in a few days!
Friday, November 25th, 2005
1:34 am
Well, I'm switching jobs. I'm just waitin for the re-hire to go through with Claire's and its' all good.

I start school for Fashion Design at IADT on January 9th. I want to do costuming for a living so this is my first major step. I will be getting an apartment in Chicago with my friend Gay Dave who I have known since highschool. I am so excited. I will be closer to Val, too :)

I'm thinking of doing my hair black with purple dreads. Any thoughts?

Another horrific Thanksgiving. I was going to go up to Val's but that fell through at the last moment so I missed out on every kindly offered alternative offered to me because of it. I ended up back here for a horrible emotional fest egged on by my drunk mother. Dinner lasted a record 8 minutes due to her bitching about us telling her what wewere "fucking thankful for" and her going crazy about my dad being in Washington and her "near death experience." Beam me up, Scottie!!!

I just can't wait for work tomorrow on the busiest day of the retail year. Shoot me now!

Current Mood: tired
Sunday, October 30th, 2005
12:23 am
This is an actual, for real email I recieved on Myspace:

"You are by far the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are so incredibly gorgeous. I am a big fan of yours! :) Would it be possible for you to send me an autograph? Please? It would mean so much to me. If it is possible then I could send you my address. Thank you. Best of luck!"
Jimmy.


Wow. I wasn't aware I had REAL groupies! If only he would bring me a latte in a loincloth ;)
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
12:39 am
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
diemorphism goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Countess Bathory.
arc_wraith tricks you! You get a rotten egg.
claire_voyent tricks you! You get an eraser.
enigmis gives you 17 milky white cola-flavoured gumdrops.
kirtakat gives you 12 mottled green watermelon-flavoured pieces of taffy.
liquidparadigm tricks you! You get a block of wood.
mythandra gives you 13 milky white coffee-flavoured nuggets.
oakparkgirl tricks you! You get a wet rag.
sheriffscabs gives you 15 light blue cherry-flavoured wafers.
tat2ed71 gives you 9 softly glowing lemon-flavoured gummy worms.
tiaralynn gives you 10 pink orange-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
diemorphism ends up with 76 pieces of candy, a rotten egg, an eraser, a block of wood, and a wet rag.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.
Monday, October 24th, 2005
1:05 am
This post is for you, Erin
Ahhh yes. I never update. I only have this journal for a few reasons:

1. To read Adrian/Tiara/Lynn/Mike's journal
2. For occassional bursts of my sad-bastard rantings.

I will make a valiant effort to update more often for you, Erin...lol.

THE WEDDING: (bum bum bum buuuuum)

I finally found something to wear after several agonizing dress shopping trips. Val and I arrived in Kenosha early and had a delightful Wisconsinish breakfast at Perkins. Val looked fab-a-lus as usual. We took the limo service over to the church from the hotel. It left half an hour late (and only because Val got mideval on them about leaving so we didn't miss the ceremony). The actual wedding ceremony was absolutely beautiful. It was very short and sweet. Tiara looked stunning and Adrian looked about to burst with emotion. I had a seriously hard time keeping the tears back in order to salvage my makeup. I have decided my new favorite thing to do is to tell Aunt Sandie she is a sexpot and saucy...that throws her off of whatever else she was going to say.

The reception was equally as nice. The Kemper Center was very well decorated. Val and I imbibed a lot...making the constant bombardment by certain people by the initials of "my alcoholic mother" more bearable. Val had a really good time. He laughed when Sandy forcefully dragged me out onto the dance floor to polka with her. Val even slowdanced with me...and later on (after he has much more to drink) he requested one of his favorite songs (It's No Good by DM) and actually DANCED with me...quite sexily I might add. And he sand to me while doing it :) awww. He definetly gave a whole new meaning to the song. I know Val really enjoyed meeting Adrian and Tiara and Erin. He wants to double date with the Goodywife Agresta and Adrian soon.

I must say my dollar dance with Adrian was also saucy.

Getting up the next morning(today) was a definite challenge. I felt like I had been hit by the vodka/after wedding unchristian acts with Val train. And I had been hit by that train...hard ;) We managed to make it down for breakfast and to say goodbye to everyone. I believe there were also several blackmail pics taken by Erin!!!

It was a great event altogether. Val and I needed hangover food at Ruby Tuesdays and then a long nap when we got back to his house though lol. Now I feel fully recovered....and I'm going back to bed lol!
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
10:24 pm
Tiara and Adrian forever
So. I've made a decision. And I hope you guys are okay with it (Adrian and Tiara tht is.) I have decided not to change the way I look for this wedding. Last time I did my damndest....took out the hair, put in small facial jewelry, wore practical shoes, bought a nice dress. Still got comments made about me. This time....this time I shall still wear a nice black dress. With shoes I like, and by then I will hve asslenght black and red dreads and I will wear the jewlery I like damnit. Unless you guys want me to try to dumb it down I am fed up with family judgement.
Monday, September 12th, 2005
12:22 am
Haven't updated in a while. So here goes:

My store closed down at the Fox Valley mall. I got promoted to management and now am working at Charlestown mall. I start there tomorrow. I'm nervous!

Since Val became my gentleman lovaaa I have been spending much more time in the city and out and about. I spent a wonderful Saturday with him. Can I just say that he is the first boyfriend I have ever had that like shopping more than me? It's GLORIOUS.

I got a modeling deal with Halo Guitars. They will be flying me out to NAMM in california in January. I am on a postcard now and will be in their calendar.

Still going to school.

Looking forward to Tiarra/Adrian's wedding!!!
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
12:54 am
I'm applying at Lover's Lane tomorrow. I hear they pay pretty well and I need more money, so I don't see the problem! I'll be like 'hire me bitches, I can sell the adult toys!'

Letsee letseee..what's new and amazing. Finals on wednesday. I'm stressed. Underslept. meh. Went to the planetarium yesterday. That was fun. Lynn bought a steamer so now we can steam dreads. FUCKIN ROOOOCK! :::metal sign:::

Val and his infinite hookups got us tickets to go see Das Ich. Yeahhhhh! I'm totally excited. I'm so excited they are going to come to Chicago. I miss Bruno. I hope his wifey is with him. It would be good to see them again.

Haven't seen Micheal in a day. LAME! Hopefully I'll see him tomorrow or wednesday!

I'm out, peeps! I need to sleep!

Current Mood: tired
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
1:09 pm
I had SO MUCH FUN last night!!! I went to see Combiechrist with Val from the Bomb yesterday and we rocked out. We went to dinner first and ate a lot so we would try not to get drunk, but alas. The dancing was sooo bad to the djed powernoise and all we did was laugh laugh laugh at people. The singer from Combie suggested Val buy pink girls undies with Combiechrist on the ass...oh...such good times. The best part was when Yluko walked in, looked at me and Val standing arm in arm laughing, and walked out apparently, cause I didn't see him the rest of the night.
Monday, July 25th, 2005
1:13 am
Days wash over me like waves
as I lay my hands into the sand
holding onto the precious things
that make up my fragile plan

Did I come to this shore
or was I washed up long ago
I forget the important things
or perhaps they were let go

Do you look for me in the twightlight
do you linger where my footsteps stay
and feel distressed when the tide comes
and washes all the prints away

Will you let me get too far to follow
will you lose sight in failing light
until my dress flaps as wings of gulls
and I am only a mirage of coming night
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
1:14 am
Chocolate love
Lynn put in the silver dreads i made today. It looks awweeessoooome. I am selling t shirts at the FB shows this thurs, friday and next friday in Milwalkee. Yay. Hopefully I'll see Adrian and Tiara there.

So, here's my rant. You would think I would be able to get gas at 1 am without getting harassed by some guy with no concept whatsoever of what a moral lifestyle is. (see Mike's rant for better elaboration).

STORY:
I am done pumping my last five dollars into my car and I'm going to get into my car and drive home. It's ONE A.M. Some black guy, easily twice my age or above, pulls up next to me in his blinged out truck. He says to me "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR CHOCOLATE LOVE?"

WHAT THE FUCK? NO. Am I wearing a sign that says "white girl looking for sex with random black man who could be her father?!!"

So, my first response is "WHAT?!" He says "Baby girl, you into some chocolate love???"

I try to come up with the quickest answer to get him the least interested in me as possible. I think, perhaps I should say I am a lesbian. Then I think, NO, that may spark his interest more. So, I lie and reply "I am engaged."

And to what does this fine gentleman reply to my answer which states that I am about to spend the rest of my life with ONE PERSON???

"DON'T WORRY, I WON'T TELL ANYONE." ( !!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!)

So I say, "I would not be getting married to him (imaginary or not damnit) if I didn't love him."

He says "NO, it's okay. I won't tell."

I am wondering which of the people I know he would be telling, and then say "I would never do that. Please leave me alone."

And disgusted, I get in my car and drive away, all the while this fucker is still trying to talk me (who he clearly thinks is engaged) into having some random act of sex with him just because he wants to have sex with me. Who the fuck are these people? This is only one of the many run-ins I have with those of the ethnic persuasion every day at the mall that ask me to have sex with them right out. I am not racist, but where the hell did our cultures get so totally thrown off? I get asked anywhere between 2-5 times a day by black or hispanic guys to just FUCK them. Right out. No qualms about it. What is going on? Do black and hispanic women accept this? Is this okay to them??????

It makes me SICK.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
1:57 pm
1) Total number of films I own on DVD/video:
Me personally...like ten

2) The last film I bought:
Dawn of the Dead, Shawn of the Dead (Best Buy had them packaged together)

3) The last film I watched:
Kingdom of Heaven

4) Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
Phantom of the Opera
Labyrinth
The Last Unicorn
Dark Crystal
Equalibrium

5) Pick five people and have them put this in their journal:
Mike
Tiara
Adrian
Arcwraith
Cathryn
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
12:21 am
Some mushie pass it on thingie
I think this is the variation of the thing Tiara did a while ago that I forgot to respond to :::Slaps hand::: but you are supposed to leave me a comment telling me what it is about me that you love and I do the same for you in this post. I am only going to do the people I actually talk to on a regular basis so no hard feelings anybody. And I dont' knwo how to do that cool thing where you make someone's LJ name a link (Adrian and Tiara are way cooler than me) so my apologies for that.

Lyntronn~ I love a million things about you. You have always been there for me a thousand percent, and you have helped me through the worst times in my life. I would have no one else as a doppleganger! You are so kind and giving to me, and are always willing to help me out. You go above and beyond the call for me constantly, and it does not go unnoticed. Nowhere in the world is the same without you.

Tat2ed71~You are so great to have as a friend. You NEVER sugar coat a damn thing, and you always tell me the truth. You are a great thing for Lynn, and for that I also lerv you. You give me great advice, and I know that you wouldn't stand for me failing.

Tiaralynn~ You are so fun to be around. I get to spend way too little time with you. I love that you make Adrian so happy. You are truly and individual, and a very artistic and talented one at that. I love that you have fun wedding colors and that you are so driven for success in no matter what you do.

Mythandra~ You are my best almost cousin ever! You have been there for me many times. We have such funny memeories! Who else writes such funny stuff about button-fly jeans that I almost die laughing? Who else can reach the very top shelf? ;)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
9:59 pm
Assassin

You are an
assassin.

That means you are a proffessional and do your
job without mixing any emotions in it. In your
life you have probably been hurt many times and
have gotten some mental scars. This results in
you being distant from people. Though many
think that you are evil, you are not. What you
really are is a person, trying to forget your
pain and past. You are the person who never
seems to care and that is why being an assassin
fits you good. Atleast, that's what people
think. Even if you don't care that much for
your victims, you still have the ability to
care and to generally feel. It is not lost,
just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to
not get to noticed, and dress in black or other
discrete colours. You don't being in the
spotlight and wish people would just leave you
alone. But once you do get close to someone you
have a hard time letting go and get real down
if you loose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around
us to keep out the sadness also keep out the
joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes




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